I want to talk about confidence growing up, I was never
super confident. I was in a group and my group of friends,
let's say there were six of us. You had a,
you know, the kid who always got into trouble right? He was always, you know, use those
on an adventure
and then you the class clown, everybody loved that person, because they were making everybody laugh. You had the person who was, you know, ambitious and was they always got good grades and they were, they were
Always sort of top of the class and doing good in sports, that sort of thing. And and then you had me. I was the friend who was like, just I was just there to support all them. I was, I was just laughing. I was like a laugh track of a show. I wasn't even the character.
And I was like, I wasn't very
confident didn't talk very much and it all changed for me. When 10th grade, you know, 10th I was living in Houston, Texas, and in 10th Grade my
family. My
dad got a job in China as all of a sudden.
Moving to Beijing and so pack up your bags. You're moving from Texas to China and on the plane ride there. I remember my sister was talking to me and she goes, you know how I feel about your new school or you
excited nervous, whatever. I was like, I don't know, it's
kind of the same. Same thing probably. Just another school say it won't be too different and she goes,
well, it can be. I don't know what you mean.
And she what she was trying to say was not the difference between China and Texas, but the difference between me and China and Me In
And she
goes, you know, none of these kids know you. So you have a kind of a fresh start,
that's pretty cool. Like, you can pretty much be whoever you want to be. You can be, however, you want to be. And I was like, what do you mean? She goes. Well, think about in Houston, like the kids in your school, who are cool, right, I had this friend, Kane. I mean, even his name was cool. My friend came hold a field, he was one of the cool kids, everybody loved him, and he was always having a good time.
And I, you know, I used to see
these other kids, remember this kid Casey, and
They were always having a good time, and one of the reasons why I was never very confident. They were confident themselves. And so, they were relaxed, they don't run over was worried about what other people were thinking of them. And I thought, man, that'd be great. If I could be like that. I didn't know how. I didn't know how to be confident, and over time, I have
learned the secret to confidence. I used to
think. Okay, here's here's what I originally
thought. I used to think
confidence was, you know, either something you just have, or you don't, you're born with it.
It. Okay,
that was wrong when I moved to
China. And when I landed, you know, after that flight, I ended up walking into school on the first day of school. And I carried myself like Cain, like carried myself. Like Casey, I carried myself, like
they used to do and I didn't know how to be
confident. I didn't really understand that sort of faked it till you make it, but
what I figured out was that confidence is not something you do directly.
Right? So confidence is not just puffing up your chest
because that's bravado right? That's that's false confidence, it's easily deflated by by reality
a confident.
Person is not just like a Fearless person.
A confident person is confident as a byproduct of being adventurous. Let me tell you what I mean.
Over time, I figured out that
all I needed to do was focus on being adventurous. Putting
myself in new unfamiliar
situations and going for it. You know, if there was a, if we were at a lake and there was a rope swing, and I didn't know how to do the rope swing. I didn't know if I would land right
then, I must do it,
right? I got a lean into that Adventure. If there was a group of girls at a bar, I wanted to go talk
to but I didn't know what to say.
I must go talk to them right at must lean into the adventure and what I realized, you know, one
Adventure after another, you sort of realized. Well if I keep putting myself in these
positions
and then I come out the other side
and, you know, sometimes it works, sometimes it's good. And sometimes you belly flop doesn't work so well,
but either way, you end up, all
right?
Then fear goes away, anxiety goes away
confidence sets in that regardless of the situation.
I'll be all right. I will good things can happen. I
have evidence that good things happen from being adventurous and therefore
confidence.
So when I did my first business, we wanted to start a sushi restaurant. We had this idea to create the Chipotle of sushi. Now, the problem was I had eaten sushi for the first time like two weeks before that. That's why I had the idea. I was like, oh my God Sue. She's amazing. I haven't had this in my whole life. I was scared of it. Why doesn't somebody make a kind of more accessible version of this so that was the idea.
And where most people would not have the
confidence to go do it
because they have no experience.
I leaned in the adventure.
So we're watching TV watching the Food Network, the Throwdown with Bobby Flay
and we see this.
It's a sushi throw down. So we skip class and we're watching this. This Throwdown. We see this awesome charismatic chef from La. Do the sushi. Throw down against Bobby Flay. He seems great. He knows
his stuff. We
say we got to get in touch with that
guy. How do we how do we make that happen?
Well, my friend, Googled him. And we saw his restaurant in
La and my friend goes, my friend, Trevor
goes, let's call him.
Again, normally,
a lot of people would shy away from that, right? That's an unknown situation. What's going to happen, if I call him. But what do I say? Will it work? Well and not work. Lean into the adventure. All right, so I
pick up the phone and I called ring ring, somebody picks up.
I'm so used to getting the run around with things that I just assumed. I was going to get the runaround. Again, I
go I need to talk to Phillip. Ye how do I make that happen?
Voice. On the line goes, it's Philip talk to me.
Now I didn't have much planned what to say after that. So so I you know, sort of
stumbled and fumbled, but I was like, oh Philip, you know, my name is Sean and I
decide Iya for a sushi restaurant. I think it could be really great, and I just saw you on TV and I think that you're the perfect person to work with and he's like, well, who are you your kid? Like, no, not interested, but we kept pursuing. We were very persistent and eventually, eventually he did come on board and became kind of like a total, like a life meant
Cars. But that part of the story is not important. Really? It's
just picking up the phone and calling that was important. Another situation. I remember early on, in my career we were in a program called Kairos. It was like a entrepreneurial Society, like a know, basically, they named the top hundred most Innovative College startups,
and
which is, you know, like Forbes 30, under 30, it kind of means nothing. It was just people picking friends. In fact, I think our school had no nominees and so we just by default by being the only people
People to apply. We won. So we get flown to New York, you go to the stock exchange and you get to present. We got on CNN, it was amazing. During that process, we heard that there were they were has a trip, you could win if you were in the, if you're in that group, there's a trip, you could win like 20 or 30, people are going to win this to China. All-expense-paid trip to China
and
a courtesy of Ali. Baba, I didn't know what Alibaba wasn't the
time and
we had missed the deadline to apply. So we
And we were not going to win and I was sort of
over. Well, I saw somebody carrying the sign for the contest
and getting into the elevator and go into the third floor. So I said I said okay you know hey you know, taxi follow that car basically, right? So let's follow her. So we go into the elevator. I go to the third floor, try to find this
one and find her and I go up to her and I say hey I
know what, I know I
missed the deadline to apply but
And I just made this up. I go, I had a dream last
night that I met a
woman who ran the trip and, and I got tickets to the trip. I don't know how it happened, but I just in my dream. It happened. And then I saw you. And you had the sign. Tell me that's not a sign and she laughs. She's like, that's a sign. Yes, sure she goes. You know, the registration is closed. I said, I know registration is
closed, but,
you know, I would love to go. I think, you know, I think I would make the trip fun for. Are you going, if you, if you're going and I'm going, the trips can be
Fun. Can you do it? You, you have
the power to make that happen, don't you? And yes, she did. She made it happen. We won an all-expense-paid trip to China.
Went to
Alibaba headquarters, learned what the heck. Ali Baba was, I was just trying to get a free trip. I thought that would be a fun adventure that ended up being extremely lucrative later because I learned about e-commerce through Alibaba and now have a e-commerce brand because of that, I also bought Ali Ali, Baba Stock and that did extremely
Well, I only had a tiny amount of money, but it did Super well. So anyways, you can't predict what's going to be
the result, but the lesson I want to share is
Confidence to
cold call, somebody confidence to go up to a woman and say, Hey, you know, I had a dream that I
won. Make it happen for me, it's not confidence, it's leaning into an adventure over over and over
again and the more adventurous you become the more bulletproof, you realize you
are and that the byproduct of that is confidence.
Try it out today if you see an opportunity to be adventurous lean in where you would, otherwise just stay on the sidelines. Try it one time. Tell me
what happens. Tweet it at me and trust me this works. If you want to if you ever want to be more confident, this is the way to do it. Don't don't don't focus on confidence focused on
adventure. All right, see ya.
