Most of the time, when people come to couples therapy, they don't come to say 'I came to check myself out.' Couples therapy is often a drop-off center. They come to tell you 'Here, here's my partner, and let me tell you what I think is the matter with that person because I'm an expert on the other person.' People stop looking at themselves because they are completely focused on what's wrong and, often, what's missing in the other.