#395: Leila Hormozi How To Brainwash Yourself To Succeed

There's a lot of, like, superstition around change that tells us that it takes a certain amount of time, that we need to be able to do a certain amount of things. And I have just found over and over in my life that that's an illusion.

Rather than thinking of how can you become a better version of yourself and how could you improve yourself is, I would say, how can you stop suppressing yourself right now? Because I think a lot of people actually suppress themselves, and that's why they're not happy or successful.

If I can do everything in my power to prevent this marriage from ever having that fate, then I will ... Not, how do I create the best marriage ever, but how do I avoid the worst marriage ever and getting divorced and breaking up? Because that's the reality of life; a lot of people do.

If you want to be unbreakable, you have to put yourself in situations where a lot of people would give up or break or whatever, meltdown.

When you change your environment, that new environment no longer accepts the version of yourself that you were. It only accepts you stepping into a better version.

We have to make decisions today that affect us in the future. And oftentimes, we make decisions today that affect us in the future based on how we feel today, not how we think we're going to feel in the future.

Every time that we have tried to play by someone else's rules, I feel like we've lost. But every time that we have sat down and had a conversation of, like, what are our rules that we want to play by in this marriage, we have been so happy afterwards.

I feel so much more at ease than I ever have because I don't hide anything. And it's not like... we don't intentionally hide things, but we just leave things out, right? And instead, I think I've looked at more opportunities like, where can I share this? Because if I share these things, it no longer has power over me.

Most of the time, I paint it out with the long-term vision of the business, which is which decision is going to benefit us both in the short-term and in the long-term? And if none of the options can benefit both in the short-term and the long-term, I need more options.

I thought to myself, if I keep doing this, what does my life look like in five years? And the thought of if I continue to gain weight, if I continue to get arrested, if I continue to hang out with these people and do drugs, what is likely to happen?

What I have, actually, learned in meeting so many of the people that I look up to, which I think is the most valuable lesson, is that they're all human, too.

We knew we just have to be able to tell each other everything that we think, everything we were feeling, as uncomfortable as it may be. Otherwise, there's no way this marriage will work in the long-term.

A lot of people spend a lot of time trying to change the person that they're with rather than appreciating them for who they are ... If you point it at anybody and say that they need to change, it's like, what does that say about you?

I made a decision in that moment that— It wasn't like, what are the things that I'm going to do to change right now? I was like, I am no longer this person. Done.

I think outside circumstances have so much more power over us than we think.

If you do something and you are afraid to share what you did, you should absolutely own what you did—because you take away, anybody else's power to control that narrative.

We don't look at anybody else's relationship; we don't read any books ... It's like, what is going to work for us? And what works for us is not what works for other people.

The biggest lesson, though, that I think is important for people to understand when you're teaching is who is the audience, and how do you make this relevant to them?

If you wouldn't want to eat dinner with these founders and you don't trust them without a contract, you don't do business with them.

You don't need to make money by having a job that you don't like; you can make money doing things you like and on your own.

I think if [my dad has] learned anything from me, I hope it's that risks aren't as risky as they seem.

A huge skill of people who are great leaders is—it's truly a skill—is the ability to take different perspectives.

The more people you interact with and the more people you seek to understand, the more easily you can take new people's perspectives.